Keeping an Altar With Kids in the House

It can be difficult to keep an altar, when you have little kids running about.  Even slightly older children (8 or 9) get curious, want to play with the things you have up there, etc.  And, animals too can get in the way and/or hurt themselves on what you have on your altar.

The first thing you can do, to help with these concerns, is put your altar up on a higher surface (fireplace mantle, etc.).  I have mine on top of a rather high dresser in my room.  Given it's height and location within the room, items are kept "out of sight, out of mind" for the most part, and it's too high to encourage the kids to play with it, or the cats to jump all the way up there when there are other surfaces, closer to the window.  ;)

Another thing you could do is to place your altar in a location not easily accessible to children.  For instance, if you have your office closed most of the time, with a child gate up so that your toddler can't play with your computer or the plugs.

You may also wish to consider the kinds of items you have on your altar, to prevent injury to any of your loved ones.  An athame is a pretty standard component of most altars, but they're not a good idea when you have children running around.  They'll be naturally curious, and you certainly don't want them playing with that!  Chalices as well might not be such a fab. idea.  Kids will want to drink out of them, or wash barbies hair with them, or...

There are other ways to represent the divine feminine and/or divine masculine energy upon your altar.  One such alternative, and I know many of you already do it, is to simply have a silver candle for the feminine and a gold candle for the masculine (left unlit, unless in ritual).

For me, that alone didn't seem personal enough.  And, I don't know if you've run into this, but gold and silver candles are really hard for me to find.  When I do find them, from new age suppliers, they are much more expensive than any other colored (or white) candle!  So, I decided to go with a representation that would be much more personal, and much more permanent (no worries about either injury OR melted wax, the kids eating the candles, etc.).

I went to a craft store and purchased two wooden, UNfinished candle stick holders.  I also purchased some non-toxic paint that would work for wood projects.  I bought silver and gold paint, along with white, yellow, and orange.  While concentrated on what these would be solely used for (i.e. concentrating on the Goddess while doing the silver candle, the God while doing the gold candle), I went home and painted the unfinished candle stick holders.

I painted one of the holders silver.  When that one dried, I used the white paint to paint a moon symbol on it.  The other holder I painted gold.  When that was dry, I painted a yellow (with orange accents) sun on the side.

Now I can use these with white candles (MUCH easier to find), or with the gold/silver when I can.

I'm a pretty creative person, but I really suck and drawing anything.  Honestly, I can mess up stick figures for cryin' out loud!  So, if I can do something like that and have it look pretty decent, anyone can.  In the end though, it doesn't matter how awesome it does or does not look.  What matters here is that it's personal to you and the divine, and that it represents what you need it to represent, while still being as safe as is humanly possible for and around your family.

Fire Vs. Water

I'm a Sagittarius and my eldest daughter is a Pisces. Given how drastic the difference is there, astrologically speaking, I think I've done rather well over her six years. I try to remember to be ever gentle in my tone, and she has taught me a lot in regards to patience and the like.

She's a well behaved child, don't get me wrong. But, she's still a child and, as such, is prone to doing things that might get under my skin (like literally put her face about 1/2 an inch in front of mine while she's talking to me, or having her moments when listening just isn't in the cards).

The little Virgo (my second daughter) and I tend to clash more often. But, my precious Pisces is far more sensitive in certain areas. So, I have to watch my tone with her more.

I was fortunate to have a number of close Pisces friends, prior to having my eldest daughter. With that experience, I was able to get some real life experience regarding exactly how our fire vs. water natures were most likely to clash.

Just last night though, I was reminded just how sensitive my little one can be.

I was sitting at the computer, sifting through email, when she came into the office. At first, she was merely playing in the room, but this escalated to her getting less than an inch away from my face, poking my shoulder, breathing heavily at me, and talking loudly.

I asked her to stop, multiple times, remembering to be gentle about it. But, enough was enough. I yelled her name. I got her attention, her face just about lost it's color when mommy's voice became that loud. And, I told her to stop what she was doing.

Almost immediately, simply because I yelled, she started to weep sadly. She then ran into the living room, slumped onto the couch, and continued to cry in the kind of way that just rips your heart out.

*Sigh*

Alas, it appears I still have work to do on softening my tone, somehow, when I'm dealing with her misbehaving. Yes, she needed to know that what she was doing was not okay. But, there has to be a way to do that, even with a sensitive child who can't stand knowing she's in trouble, without hearing that heart-wrenching weeping.

It's very interesting to me, the way our personalities clash, get along, or otherwise interact, particularly when it comes to the ones who are dearest to our hearts - our children.

The Meaning of Life, From the Thoughtful Perspective of a Child

Before I became a full-time mommy, I worked in a private daycare center. I handled all age groups, ranging from 8 weeks to 8 years of age.

One day, one particular 8 year old was really grating on my last nerve. She just wouldn't behave, and it was making life stressful for not only the teachers and T.A.'s, but also the younger children.

Finally, I just could not take it anymore. So, I told her to sit in time out. She pushed me to tell her for how long she would have to sit there, so I said, "Until you can tell me the meaning of life!"

Now, I wasn't honestly going to have her sit there all day. Technically, we weren't allowed to have them sit in time out for longer then five minutes at a time. I just needed time to cool off, and for her to know that she couldn't get away with whatever it was she was doing (this was 7 years ago or so, I don't remember the exact offense).

A few moments later, she called me over. She told me that she had figured out the answer to my question. I was a little more then skeptical that an 8 year old had figured out the meaning of life, but I did tell her that she could get out of time out by giving my a pensive answer, so I awaited her response.

"To live," she told me. It was so simple, and yet so very compelling. My irritation with her antics faded quickly. I thought about her answer for a few seconds, and told her she could get out of time out and go play.

To live. The more I thought about it, the more her answer not only made more sense then anything I'd heard from a great many philosophers and intelligent adults, but it also brought more peace. From the lips of a rebellious child to my ears - The meaning of life is to live.

A Boy/Girl Scouts Alternative For Pagan Parents

We all want our children to have fun growing up, socialize, get involved in extra curricular activities, etc. But, as a Pagan parent, some programs may be shut off, or not coincide with what we want for our kids.

The boy scouts and girl scouts, for instance, are supposed to only accept children from families that proclaim a belief in one supreme God, and no others. This can be a bit of an issue for kids and parents that do not adhere to one of the big three Abrahamic based faiths.

This is why I was thrilled to discover the Spiral Scouts. They were formed as an alternative specifically for Pagan parents. They are co-ed, and seperated by age group. There are "dens" so to speak all over the place, though they are still fairly new, so there aren't as many as there are boyscout meeting locations.

They accept children and parents from all walks of life, so even non-pagans can benefit from the program. And, it just looks plain fun! I found a group of spiralscouts not too terribly far from where I live, so I'll be looking into it further, and testing it out with my little ones. When I have a bit more personal experience with them, I'll be sure to update you all on what I've found.

In the mean time, this is a quote directly from their website:

"SpiralScouts™ International is a program for girls and boys of all faiths working, growing and learning together. Making its public debut in February of 2001, SpiralScouts™ International has grown into an expanded program available to anyone world wide. We now serve youth throughout the US, as well as in Canada and Europe. "

And, you can take a peek for yourself, and find a group meeting near you, here... http://spiralscouts.org/

Welcome to my Blog!

My name is Larisa, and I am a Pagan parent (gee, do you feel like you're at a "Pagans Anonymous" meeting yet? lol). I have two beautiful little girls, who I stay home with, the eldest of which I'm homeschooling. They are 6 and 3, respectively.

In this blog, I'm going to be mainly sticking with issues that are of particular interest to Pagan parents. I'll be reviewing various programs, discussing news stories, movies, etc. that I think might strike your fancy. If there is anything you'd like me to write about, advice I may be able to provide (having personal experience with being a single Pagan mother of two), etc. please don't hesitate to contact me with that, and I will do my best to provide you with whatever I can that might help.