Supportive Parenting

How to be a Supportive Parent

by akasch
There are different levels of support that a parent can provide, depending on the age and maturity levels of their child. When a child is very young, the supportive parent can do relatively simple things such as posting a drawing on the refrigerator after giving the child rave reviews on their creation.

The supportive parent must give the child their undivided attention when the child has something to say. How many times do you see a mother or father completely ignore a small child who calls their name out over and over again, as if they don't hear them. Do you find yourself thinking, "Answer your child!" Obviously its important to teach your child that they are not to interrupt while the parent is in the middle of another conversation, but even then, the parent should lean to the child and whisper, "Wait until mommy is finished with this conversation," rather than just ignoring the child. Not only is that teaching your child to be courteous, but it is also being supportive. You are acknowledging your child 's needs, but asking them to wait their turn.

Supporting Teenagers

As the child gets older and more mature, their need for support changes. A teenager 's need for emotional support is more complex than before. They have a need to be heard and to be respected by their parents.

Too many children do not treat their parents with respect, and when you ask them why they disrespect their parent, they will respond that their parents don't give them respect so why should they give respect to their parent? That 's a good point, actually. Most parents do not consider their teenagers as children, and they do not consider them adults either. Somewhere along the way, the teenager is dismissed and the parent forgets that the teenager has needs too. The teen is left to fend for themselves and sometimes make self-destructive decisions such as drugs, alcohol or reckless behavior.

So, how do you support your teenager? First of all, supporting does not mean letting them do whatever they want to do. They need to know that you care, and showing that you care means making some unpopular decisions. If your teen wants to go somewhere, its important to let them know that you care enough about them to find out where, how long and with whom. Some parents have blind faith and don't even inquire as to where their child is going and this can often be interpreted as uncaring or unsupportive by a teen.

What if they want to do something and you feel it would be dangerous or inappropriate at their age? Well, being supportive means explaining your point of view and hopefully you can compromise a happy medium with your teen. But sometimes that is not an option, and the answer no with an explanation, is all you can do. They may get angry with you for the moment, but that too, will pass. And eventually they will realize that you made the decision out of love.

Supporting your teenager also means being active in their interests. Transporting them to and watching their sporting events, talking with their teachers to find out how they are doing in school, asking to see their homework, and also making them responsible for chores at home.

Don't forget to make time to sit down (uninterrupted) to talk with your teenager about how things are going at school, with their friends, or other activities. This shows that you respect them and are supportive of them. Giving them this type of attention is not difficult to do, but often times, parents believe that because their child is no longer "young" that this type of attention is not as important. The truth is, that it is actually a very important and necessary thing in a young adult 's life, because they are now making decisions that may affect the rest of their lives. This is when they need the most advice and support from their parents.

But that type of conversation and supervision should not begin when the child becomes a teenager. Supportive dialog should have begun as an infant, and continued into the teen years. It is not uncommon for parents to realize that the child needs more structure and supervision after things have gotten out of control. Unfortunately, if you haven't set the guidelines and rules before they become teens, its going to be very difficult to make an impact now.

Supporting a Grown & Independent Child

Once again, the role of a supportive parent changes once the child has grown up and moved away from the home. The only way you can ensure that your grown child will come to you for advice or support is to make sure that you offer advice ONLY when asked. Hopefully, you have raised your child to make good decisions and be a responsible adult. Now, they are here to get practical advice or comfort from the parent, and your supportive role means you will not criticize their decisions or make them feel like they are failing at adulthood. Of course they will make mistakes and they will also make decisions that you disagree with. But your role as a supportive parent is to be their cheerleader and their safe place to come home to.

What if they make a decision that you disagree with? Well, you can give them your non-judgmental perspective on the situation and then tell them that either way they decide to go you will support them. I guarantee that if they walk away from you feeling better than when they came to you, they will come back to you the next time they need your love, advice and support.

And the best part is, they will know what it means to be a loving and supportive parent - and this will be passed on to their children.

About the Author

Martine Kasch is a professional counselor and just one heck of a good mom. To get her sage advice for being supportive in the rest of your relationships, go to http://www.supportiverelationship.info

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Wiccan Wisdom E-book

Out of the Shadows and Into the Light--an ebook of Wiccan Wisdom

by Tirgana
Valkyrie Publishing announces the March 1 release of Theresa Chaze 's new ebook, Out of the Shadows and Into the Light. It is a 105-page ebook containing Wiccan wisdom and rituals for the beginner as well as the advanced practitioner. It contains rituals for the individual as well as for groups.
Although Wicca is a modern term, it is based on traditions that reach back to when humans toiled the soil and hunted the forests for food. It is a wisdom, which helps Wiccan and Pagans work in harmony with the rhythms of nature to provide and protect the family or tribe. Most of us today do not grow our own food or hunt in the forest; instead, we work jobs and forage in supermarkets. This doesn’t change the essential nature of our goals, which is to provide for our families and ourselves. By working in harmony with the nature 's energy, which surrounds us, we can bring balance, peace and prosperity into our lives. This doesn’t mean our lives will be without challenges, but it does mean with faith in ourselves and the Divine we can weather our challenges to reach our best and highest good.
Wiccans also respect other religions. We do not alter their rituals or prayers as an anti-religion. I have heard of covens, which as part of their initiation require the initiate to say the Lord’s Prayer backward. Wicca is based on spiritual traditions, which began long before Christ walked upon the Earth. We are a positive, loving force in the universe. Only by respecting all paths can we honor ourselves, each other and the Divine life force, no matter what is called, which is in all of us.
In Out of the Shadows and Into the Light, I share some of what I have learned. It is a positive healing magic, meant to help you on your path. If you are looking for rituals to control or harm another, you are looking in the wrong book. Anytime you try to control another’s destiny, it is black magic. Which brings me to the Wiccan Creed “do what ye will, but harm none.” and the “rule of three”. The only exception to these rules is in self-defense. Once you are no longer being attacked, you must stop; otherwise, you become the attacker and the rules apply to you. Both the creed and the rule of three have been hotly debated. Whether you call it the rule of three, karma, or what goes around comes around, your actions do have consequences for good or evil. Harm or manipulate another, no matter what your intentions, and you open yourself to the same at another’s hand. However, random acts of kindness bring help and healing back to you when you need it. It is your choice.
There are two categories of protection. The first is a response to an attack that has already begun. Rituals, which reflect back or bind the other’s negative energy, fall into this section. The second set of rituals are preventative measures, which include cleansing, shields, and reinforcing your own energy. Protection rituals or spells, which reflect back or bind, are specifically for self-defense on a spiritual level. Once you are in a safe spot, you can then turn your attention to preventing further aggression. These protection rituals are solely for self-defense. To follow the attacker and to continue, reverse the roles and you become the attacker. These rituals are specifically designed for self-defense, nothing more.
More than protection, justice rituals are for situations, which are bigger than the individual is, when you want to clear your karma, or break karmic ties with another. They are the best way to release the situation to the wisdom of a higher power. However by doing so you also forfeit your control over the end results. By letting go, you allow the best and highest good to determine the outcome. There are many situations both on the personal level and on the grand scale that would benefit from setting aside the ego and allowing Goddess/God to deal with the challenge.
What would a book of Shadows be without prosperity rituals--a book of other wisdom. But if you are looking for rituals to help you win the lottery or to steal others’ belongings, you need to look elsewhere. There aren’t many rich witches out there who didn’t become so without hard work. That doesn’t mean it can’t or won’t happen, only that is unlikely that you will win millions. Prosperity is more than the sum total of what is in you bank account, but of who you are and what you have accomplished. That doesn't mean you can set aside the mundane needs of life and go meditate on a hill--even then you have to eat. What it does mean that you need to take responsibility for your decisions and your life. Casting spells and doing rituals can help, but I have yet to meet a rich witch. The best way to insure a successful, prosperous life is to remain in school and get a good education. In doing so, you'll find a source of satisfaction as well as being able to live comfortably.
Most love rituals are in fact black magic. If you try to influence another against their will to love you, even for good reason, it is black magic and eventually you will pay. In the movie, The Craft, the one witch discovered how dangerous it can be. She forced a classmate to love her, but instead of a lover, she created a dangerous stalker. Besides wouldn't you prefer to have a love match where you were loved you for yourself instead of forcing someone to love you. How could you ever trust the love between you? Created in trickery and deceit, it could never be a strong bond. Also in doing so, you would create very bad karma and destroy any chance you and any of your true soul mates would have of connecting.
As with the protection rituals, the following are not meant to be the only path to take. If you are physically ill or injured for goodness sake, seek medical help. I am not a doctor or a medical professional. Healing rituals are designed to heal from the spiritual down to the physical. Many illnesses, both on the physical and emotional level have their sources in the spiritual. By healing etheric body or the soul, the physical body is restored. There isn't a simple explanation of why illness happens--nor are there any cure all. Frequently illnesses are learning experiences, karmic balancing or the result of emotional trauma. The only way to deal with them is to find the root cause. In doing so, the lesson is learn or the trauma is understood so trapped emotions can be released. This is no guarantee that the physical ailment will just disappear, but it will aid with the healing process.
Wiccan and Paganism are multi-dimensional paths whose main purpose is to be able both live well and in harmony with the universe. You won’t find them on street corners trying to convert others, nor do they actively attack others; it would be against their belief system. Instead, they chose a life’s path in the pursuit of wisdom, honor and harmony. They work their jobs, care for their families, and pay their bills, while trying to make this world a little better for everyone.

"Out of the Shadows and Into the Light, A Book of Shadows for the Modern World." A Review by GrannyMoon An amazing and in depth BOS written by the published Wiccan writer Theresa Chaze. An Ordained Minister of the Universal Life Church, Wiccan Priestess, and expert in Dragon Magic, Mz Chaze shares her personal wisdom and experiences with the reader. The artwork is inspiring and you will find invaluable spells, rituals, Moon phases, Pagan Holy Days and much much more. Not the run of the mill BOS fare, but a tantalizing buffet!
GrannyMoon
GoddessSchool.com


“When I use the term “awesome” in reference to Theresa Chaze’s new book, Out of the Shadows and Into the Light, it is such an understatement that I really feel ashamed I cannot come up with a better term. Out of the Shadows and Into the Light is an excellent reference guide for anyone who really wants to know what Wicca is really all about. Theresa, an Ordained Minister of the Universal Life Church and Wiccan Priestess, guides us through rituals, alter-building and dragon magic with such a gentle and easy tone that even those of us who don’t practice Wicca can understand that it’s not about evil, but about finding good in the world. It has totally changed my way of thinking. I believe that if more people would realize that Wicca is not about burning animals at the alter or casting evil spells, but concentrate on Theresa’s principles that “…Wicca is a wisdom…based on living in harmony with the rhythms of nature to provide and protect the family…,” you will see the full impact that those who practice Wicca are trying to portray. I highly recommend Out of the Shadows and Into the Light…a must read for anyone who wants to know the REAL world of Wicca.”
--Dorothy Thompson, editor, The Writer’s Life (www.thewriterslife.net) and editor/contributing author of Romancing the Soul (Zumaya Publications 2004)

Out of the Shadows and Into the Light is only available at www.theresachaze.com. Downloads are five dollars to be paid through Paypal.

Theresa Chaze has been described as the woman who plays with dragons, especially the dragons of the mind. She leads her readers to magical realms and others worlds. Her work is based on her philosophy that all peoples can live together in peace as long as we come from respect, not only for ourselves but those who follow different paths or beliefs. Her work has been compared to Marion Zimmer Bradley and Anne McCaffrey with an adult version of Harry Potter mixed in. Theresa Chaze 's major works so far include the first two novels of the Dragon Clan Trilogy and a free fantasy ebook called, Sisters, Mother, Daughters. Her screenplay, Never Can Say Good-bye, is one of the 2006 winners of the Gloria Film Festival. She publishes an ezine called, Messages From the Universe, which is available on her site www.theresachaze.com.

About the Author

Theresa Chaze has been described as the woman who plays with dragons, especially the dragons of the mind. She leads her readers to magical realms and others worlds. Her work is based on her philosophy that all peoples can live together in peace as long as we come from respect, not only for ourselves but those who follow different paths or beliefs. Her work has been compared to Marion Zimmer Bradley and Anne McCaffrey with an adult version of Harry Potter mixed in. Theresa Chaze 's major works so far include the first two novels of the Dragon Clan Trilogy and a free fantasy ebook called, Sisters, Mother, Daughters. Her screenplay, Never Can Say Good-bye, is one of the 2006 winners of the Gloria Film Festival. She publishes an ezine called, Messages From the Universe, which is available on her site www.theresachaze.com.

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